Hey, y'all!
I'm J'Meiah (juh-me-ya), a girl from a small town in Central Georgia with big dreams and a big heart to match. Since I was a little girl, I've felt especially drawn to God and with that, a higher calling on my life. To do what, exactly? I didn't know because of my many gifts and talents. But as I'm living, I'm learning that God is in all of it, and that all of that can serve me and the world. That realization in the face of some really tough life experiences is how Choose Every Step came to be.
My Story
Before I truly knew Jesus, I constantly felt lonely and afraid. No matter where I was, I felt misunderstood by everyone. And I didn’t realize it ‘til later, but that made me angry. I felt unseen, like something or someone was placed above me ALWAYS. Yet, I was expected to keep it all together, to show up and perform well—and I did. But I wasn’t well, not on the inside. But there seemed to be no room or space for that to exist outside myself, so I kept it in. I just wanted someone to ask about me. I wanted to be able to not get everything right like everyone else without feeling like a disappointment. But somehow, any time I messed up, that’s how I felt no matter how “good,” smart, responsible, and accomplished I was. The fears of others were projected onto me, making everyone’s feelings my responsibility over my own. It was suffocating . . . and all I wanted was to be free. But that seemed impossible at the time, so I became who I was being treated like. And in the process, I was damaged, tainted by shame and guilt making me anxious and fearful of the God I had been told of all my life.
But now, I know Him for myself. And I’ve learned to not only forgive others but to forgive myself. In the eyes of God, I was made new, but I kept subjecting myself to that shame and guilt. I didn’t believe what God said about me. I didn’t understand how it could be true that I didn’t need to perform well to stay in His good graces. That was something I had to learn over time, that nothing I have done or could ever do (GOOD OR BAD) would change the way God feels about, sees, and loves ME!!! And with that, I’ve chosen to love myself, to grow, and to see myself in the same way that He sees me, to value myself as He does the 1 over 99.
If I could tell people one thing about Jesus, it would be that he is faithful! Even when we are far from Him, He remains the same gracious, merciful, good, and just God. And for that, I am grateful. There’s nothing I did to experience this love, but He is more than worthy of my love, obedience, and faithfulness back, so that’s what this is for me. I’m loving God back, because He has stayed with me and comforted me through it all. He’s been a true friend.